mario-maurer-and-baifern-on-first-love

It took me a lot of courage to do this letter i don’t usually share this thing, this will be my first and last letter to you 🙂 I hope others will understand the reason why I’m posting this.  It’s not bad at all, to get your heart broken; right person will come through God’s way.


I really don’t care if you’re still in denial or what; I know for a short period of time we both know what is the word “had” back then. I honestly love the things I made for the first time with you, you really made my world turn upside down, you made me laugh, smile, angry, sing, dance and cringe,  you made me care more and less of myself, you made me realized that guys are not the same and it’s a choice to be who they want them to be, you made me see things beyond and you made me think that life isn’t bad at all, you also made me love and feel loved.


You might not realize it but I was this kind of girl who doesn’t usually let anybody else mess up with my world, I take authority over my life and never let anyone in, but I let you. I really did hate you for leaving me hanging on air and end up hating myself for not having the courage to ask why, through years a whirlwind emotion start to take over my life. I been bitter instead of better, I turn into something that I don’t want to be, I choose to rebel over a thing that I’m hoping for to return.


And at the end, I understand that I’m only hoping for something that isn’t coming, your words really drives me crazy holding on till the end, but I have to move on, moving on is never been easy, it took me years to finally say that “It’s really not coming, and it’s already “over” for both of us”. because i keep cuddling the emotion and holding on to the memories, I don’t wanna play blaming games with you. What I know is that, through the pain of falling in love for the first time it draws me closer to God, you love is a disguise of God’s love that I’m longing for.


So I say thank you for everything that I experienced with you. I never regret that one day I fell in love and got hurt, that one day I feel bitter and yet never imagine that i can still forgive, His love made me forgive. And it’s a great feeling; I realized I did myself a big favor for not holding garage over someone else. I really learned a lot through my journey of healing and forgiveness, and I’m able to share it to others.


I want you to know that you don’t need to feel guilty for hurting me either i, we both young back then, we made decisions through our emotions, and I already forgiven you. You’re one of the best thing that happen to me, so again thank you, I pray that the Lord will bless you exceedingly above and beyond because you’re a good, kind-hearted and a gentle person.


Goodbye FL 🙂

crazy-little-thing-called-love

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s