Old Sibling Struggles lol! #OLD is not in our dictionary as eldest haha #10 is definitely us. Found myself reading some article about first born kids, find it quite interesting.
- First born kids are somewhat the trial and error of a new parent: Honestly first born don’t mind it; we definitely understand that parents are imperfect person.
- First born are tend to be controlling: The responsibility of being the eldest is not easy, you may say that we are “controlling freak” and “very authoritative and rule oriented”. All I can say is being the eldest take a lot of self-esteem to establish authority over your sibs, and a big heart to understand the tantrums you had. First born mind-set is not selfish which most of the sibs think. There intensions are not short tern discipline but rather a long term discipline that can be pass in generations.
- The high expectation to the eldest: This is one of the reason why eldest are tend to be achievers yet insecure, responsible yet people pleaser and lastly smart yet approval seeker. Every eldest in the family has this growing insecurity in taking the lead when parents are not around, most often they were the ones who take care of everything. As a result in their personal life, they were the one to work hard and help the family.
- Hurt: Most of the eldest were hurt when disrespectful come on their way through their sibs, we eldest always have the mind of “why did they not understand how to respect”, “I’m the eldest I demand to be respected” and it is true, eldest tend to feel authority violated when sibs don’t respect them as they are.
- Fear of new things: I really think that trying new things and bound to go with the trend is fine with the eldest, we might be traditional and family oriented but we are always found of new things, we are not too old to follow new trend.
- Always the good example and always right: I believe right in a way where the intensions relay, good example is really the hardest part of being the eldest because we tend to be a “perfectionist” in every way, but the sibs should also need to be understand that even if we try hard to be a good example, failure comes in our way, they should need to distinguish the things that needed to acquire from our experiences and eliminate the ones that are not beneficial.
- Eldest are too distant and mature: All I can say is that eldest are not too far for your reach, eldest tend to be the ruler yet they are lovely and understanding in every situation, they are also your cheerleaders when you feel down, you can tell them your secrets and expect to keep it till they die and lastly generational gap is never been an issue for us. All you need to do is approach.
- Nobody bothered to ask about their dreams and ambitions in life: I say true enough for this, nobody really bother to ask what are the dreams and plans do they have in the future, maybe because the eldest itself are too “bombarded” with the responsibly to help the family, they really don’t have time for their own life . eg: – Whenever they go out they need to be at home at specific time to look if the their sibs did their homework nor eat their dinner and also take care of the house. I remember my friend in one of our conversation about new grads, he told me that “the reason why graduate did not excel because of the mind-set and burden they have since they were kids, the mind-set to graduate and provide for the family is the highest priority that’s why they don’t mind whether they did not practice the course they take during collage”. True enough, but the truth is balance is what we, eldest need to be open to our parents on what do we want in life. I believe that they will support us every decision we made in life.
- Eldest are the one who receive the least of “a thank you note from sibs”: True enough, but eldest don’t mind, because they were bounded by loved. Whenever they see their sibs happy, they were also happy or seeing them satisfied by their cooking (sister know this haha agree?)
- Giving: Giving everything and less of themselves is never been an issue to an eldest. Something that sibs should be grateful for.
Everything that’s written above is true base on the insight of an eldest. But here’s another truth:
“Everything written above is true, but eldest don’t mind having the responsibility to help the family, also eldest may feel a little bit less appreciated but the truth is they don’t mind because they knew every smile from a family member is a great reward for them, and lastly eldest don’t mind everything that written above because they were motivated by loved and the reward of being the eldest in the family is priceless, one of the most fulfilling task that God gave us and we eldest never regret being one”
So appreciate them!
Thoughts coming during midnights, sorry haha nocturnal lang ang peg ko 😛 Blog starts 5:30am and end at 6:30am got me 1hour lol, drain brain cells 😛
#Justsimpleawareness #wishihaveonelol #butilovemebeiingtheedest #familyisloved #therewardbeingtheeldest